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... huh. It actually hadn't occurred to him that he was the misstep. "I wasn't distressed," he says, numbly.

Should he try to explain? To brush against a little of his thinking? Would it serve a purpose, when the only effect of it all appears to have been to spawn this damned Palace? He thinks not. "I suppose I—misstepped too. With you," he clarifies. It's an apology, of sorts.

"It wouldn't be the first time, and I doubt it'll be the last, but we've certainly overcome worse miscommunications." There's a whisper of a laugh, though he remains in place. "I won't pressure you, but I genuinely would like to understand better. It could help us in the future to avoid situations such as this, where you feel like you aren't being seen or heard to a satisfactory degree."

But he lowers his head again, determined not to shudder, relaxing hair by hair despite himself. "I don't know what you expect me to say. I'm just not like you. I never will be. I thought he was like me. He isn't. That's all."

Thanks, Magpie.

"...You were trying to connect. Because he underwent similar anguish as you." Crow quiets as it all sinks in. Those words weren't just about Drake. They were self-loathing. "It was never just about him..."

Edited 2024-07-15 05:25 (UTC)

"Please." Magpie looks up, eyes flashing, desperate for a rock to hide beneath. But he flinched, harder than he could conceal, and all of them will know it.

"I am a detective, after all. Your reaction just now proves that I'm onto something." But it's okay. He even takes a chance and brushes his fingers against Magpie's hair. "You know, Drake's Shadow said something... interesting, when he blocked our path. If you're in the right mindset for it, I can share, though I'm not certain it'll provide reassurance so much as clarity for what lies ahead."

He's not sure he wants to know at all—but he screws his eyes up tight, struggling with himself, rather than pull away from Crow's touch, from his smile. Warmth fights to make its way through the ice in his heart. "Why not. May as well get the bad news out of the way."

Ren can't help but adjust his grasp on Crow and Magpie and Hiro. He is hugging, still, but his arm is starting to fall asleep.

Crow continues lightly stroking Magpie's hair. Anything to offer reassurance with what's to come. A deep breath in, a slow exhale out.

"He said, and I quote, 'Good luck getting Magpie to turn back the clock.'" Crow gives it a moment to sink in. "It may be possible that some subconscious part of Drake genuinely does wish things could be different between you two, or perhaps misses how things were when you were children. I'm not going to say you need to forgive him or accept him, but it is highly possible that you will have to put work in toward understanding him."

He pauses.

"But you won't be alone. You will have Ren and me to help you through whatever trials lie ahead."

Edited 2024-07-15 05:38 (UTC)

... and his mouth screws up tight, as his whole body stiffens and his eyes turn to petrified wood, as he shakes his head as if to clear it, with a low growl. It's not right, that everyone knows what he said, whatever his intentions, while Drake's insults fly entirely under the radar. For someone who'd insist he's as luckless as Magpie himself, he certainly has Ren's own luck.

But then, when has right ever come into anything? Get stabbed, eat the knife, pick yourself up and move on. That's all there is. "Wanting something won't make it so. There's too much between us. He has no more love for me than I do for him."

"I guess it's only fair for me to ask...how did he hurt you?" Ren ponders aloud. "I got here after the uh. Fight..."

It's telling that he doesn't even deny the word hurt. But he also doesn't reply, just shakes his head hard. No.

"I know, but... it's not my place to tell. What I can say that it is by far one of the worst things Drake could have said, and he knew precisely what he was doing." There, there. It's all right. He continues stroking Magpie's hair.

His Shadow looks at the two, but remains snuggled up to Ren for now. "It is rather unfair how your hurt goes unseen..."

He doesn't pull away from Crow's touch. "He didn't hurt me."

It's by far one of the least convincing things he's ever said.

Unfair his hurt goes unseen, huh...wonder how THAT could be. Ren sends up a silent prayer of thanks that his universe's Akechi Goro did not end up like this -- Magpie's Akira/Ren has some work ahead of him. This Akira/Ren is happy to keep snuggling for now, though.

Edited 2024-07-15 06:58 (UTC)

"Yes, you can say that it impacted Frog just as well, but I know it still hurt you. It hurt me to find out he'd gone so far, but we can only move forward." At least Magpie isn't pulling away. That's good. Crow continues on. "But Shadows don't lie. That his Shadow mentioned turning back the clock at all suggests that there is something more than mutual disdain, and the Palace may hold further truths in that respect... So what will you do?"

"It's still your choice," his Shadow says. "Only you can determine your feelings, as well as how to proceed."

Magpie sits there, tense in their embrace, for another long moment. Then he mutters something. "I talked to him once. When I was on my bike."

In other words, when he had his leathers and helmet on, and was unrecognisable.

Ren just has to let him talk. There's nothing he can add. (He's not a good enough Ren to understand an Akechi who doesn't throw himself into his arms, apparently.)

"What happened during that encounter?" Crow keeps stroking Magpie's hair, holding him close. Anything to make clear that he really, truly is sorry.

"He was spraypainting the police station. I think you know about that. Falcon ended up taking his paints, the way I heard it."

Magpie snorts half-heartedly against Crow's shoulder. "He can't paint for shit. I was better than that when I was eight."

"You'll have to show us sometime." Ren idly follows Crow's lead, stroking Magpie's hair and squeezing his hand gently. "The Diet could use some redecorating."

"We keep putting off our fun with the Diet to a point where Rose ended up carrying the torch in some respects..." Crow's voice is soft, hopefully soothing. "But how did it go?"

It's clear that Magpie is going somewhere with this.

"Seriously? You're interested in my preteen rebellion?" He turns a little, not enough to face Ren. That had been such a strange encounter.

"I suppose... I suppose I was mixed up. It was somewhere we went together when I was younger. Robbed the place. And he looked...."

Like her. Like his mother. Pale, haunted, fading.

"He did. I... saw him around that time as well." Crow takes a deep breath, holding it for a few seconds before letting it free. "But Magpie... I don't think this is entirely your fault, no matter how I came across before. I was the one who started all of this. If I hadn't burdened you with my pain after that conversation with Drake, you wouldn't have felt the need to act on my behalf. I dragged you into this, and you've suffered because of it."

Joker is...he's tired, he's decided. Tired of the self-blame, tired of the...well. Self-blame sums up all of it, really.

He takes the hand that is not holding Magpie's and sticks it horizontally across Crow's mouth. "Shut," he says, lowly, tiredly but with force and understanding. Firm, but kind. "Everything sucked for everyone and nobody's perfect. I was an asshole too. No blaming yourself unfairly. We think about it in the morning. None of us have clear minds."

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