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[Text him! Or do whatever, I'm not the police, and neither is he, thank God. Just specify if you want the more-fun-but-less-stable pre-11/20 guy or the grumpy third semester/postcanon guy. Pancake only for VRDR guys please, he's not third semester ~~yet~~]

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"Frog is generally fairly sincere. Despise everything, he does understand the complexity of the situation, just as he understood Crow's desire to stand up for you." He makes a sound like a sigh crossed with a laugh. "Frog referred to the friction between Crow and Glitch as a 'blood feud.'"

Startled, he tries to lift his head, but doesn't get far since the Shadow's hand is on it; he quiets back down. "That does about sum it up. The nature of hate."

It describes him and Shido, certainly. And it strikes him, too, how little he knows about Frog.

"It's just so... exhausting." Out comes another sigh. "Perhaps it's the nature of my being that makes it difficult to comprehend. All the visceral anger at the world resides within Loki."

"Yes." Plain and simple; it's true, after all. "That was how my awakening was, actually. Justice was inadequate. It wouldn't serve. There had to be more."

No, there had been more. All along, denied and strangled. He leans into the Shadow's warmth.

"I'm sorry. It must have been so difficult." But it's all right now. He holds Magpie close, letting his warmth soothe the other. "I suppose I should be grateful toward the circumstances that birthed me, as twisted as it sounds. Had the unified Persona Crow was meant to awaken not fractured, I wouldn't be 'me.'

I think that shows that it is possible to take dire circumstances and still reach a happy resolution, even if it's difficult, and even if it takes time. The pieces may not fit together perfectly as they were before, but you can still create something new."

Edited 2024-07-18 14:08 (UTC)

Again, he awkwardly tries to lift his head, and gives up. "And it matters to you, doesn't it? To be you, and not someone else."

"I keep telling myself that I'm an extension of Crow, however grateful I am to 'be' myself, but everyone around me feels that I'm selling myself short, Crow included. But I've had five years of this existence. Too human to be a Persona, but not human enough to be human."

A weak little laugh escapes him.

"But I get by. At least it allows me to help others in more meaningful ways." Like right now. A 'mere' Persona could never dream to experience such a mundane moment.

He laughs himself, lower and darker. "Well. When you figure out what you want, beyond living only for others, then you'll have figured out what it is to be a person."

Because what else did he do? Kidded himself he was pursuing his own goals, while living only for others. What Shido told him to do, what the world wanted to see. Never a boy, so much as a puppet. As much volition as the puppet beside him.

"Well, I do know one thing I... might want, but ha." He looks away, suddenly oh so sheepish. "It's not something to prioritize now, when Crow and I have to be in top form for tomorrow."

Well, not just them.

"I suppose we all do. Which means allowing ourselves to rest our bodies and minds."

"You're not wrong." Shit, is this going to be the gay chicken thing again? But no, he said Crow. Which Magpie is fine with.

He clears his throat, pulling away. "You can stay. If you like. Crow has done it often enough."

"I know. Even when I'm not physically here, I'm still present in his mind." Well, if Magpie needs to pull back, that's fine. He, perhaps a tad reluctantly releases his hold. "We don't have to, but if you need me to hold you, that's fine."

Whatever's comfortable, really.

"But... thanks, for trusting me enough to be here."

A bit awkwardly, with a bit of a frown, he reaches out to briefly squeeze the Shadow's hand. "It's nothing. If you Hamaon me in the night, at least I won't have to go to that damned Palace tomorrow."

Aw. He accepts the hand squeeze with a smile before settling onto his side. "Sorry, but I've no intention to kill anyone. I will, however, do what I can to offer emotional support tomorrow."

"Just don't be too public about it." He gets up, turning away to peel off his own shirt, trousers and socks, and slip on a far less battered, far more boring white tee. "I don't want the rest of them to know anything is going on."

"Fair enough. I'm not expecting you to be vulnerable with everyone. Simply having a select few you trust is still a healthy option." Ah, don't mind him as he stretches a little. "But do you feel any better?"

And as the shirt drops over his head, he turns, regarding the Shadow for a moment before lifting the quilt to drop into bed. "Of course."

"You know you can be honest with me, right?" Sorry, Magpie. He's not so easily fooled.

Edited 2024-07-18 14:51 (UTC)

But he folds his hand over the pillow, wide-eyed in the eerie yellow half-light. "Force of habit."

"Well, I know we haven't gotten to know each other nearly as well." It makes sense that he'd fall into old habits. "But I meant what I said, and I know that feeling better isn't as simple as exchanging a few inspiring words and flipping a switch."

Instead of talking any more, Magpie reaches over the space between them, for the Shadow's hand.

And of course Crow's Shadow accepts it, easily surrendering his hand. "Tired of talking?" They probably are due for some rest.

"You could say that. Turn the lights out, so we can get some sleep." That is, close your eyes, Hiro.

"All right." With a whisper of a chuckle, he shuts his eyes. "Goodnight, Magpie."

But Magpie's hand is oddly gentle on the Shadow's, and his voice is strangely soft. Perhaps he'll even sleep. "Goodnight."

For Magpie, that's more than enough. Crow's Shadow knows him well enough to know that even subtle softness is a big step for him.

So he drifts off with ease, finally settling after such an arduous day. With luck, tomorrow won't be so bad.

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pancakeboy - 2024-07-18 15:16 (UTC) - Expand

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