[ic] dynamite the dam on the flow

[pancakeboy]

[ooc: subsequent to this.]

With Raven hopefully reassured and now upstairs shepherding the kids, Magpie has swung into action.

The tangible shit is easy—check the first aid kit, start water for tea, make sure the stocks of bottled water, soup and so on are reasonably intact, and that nobody's left an upturned Featherman figure or spiky dinosaur anywhere too immediately lethal.

After a moment's thought, he switches on the kotatsu, even though spring is creeping closer. Then, with everything done that should be done, he checks over everything again, like an anxious hen. It's hard to shock him for long, and he's settling on a response, which is that if Sparrow's Ren wasn't already dead, he'd kill him.

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[unfoggedlotus]

By the time they make it home, Ren is tired. Scratch that, he's exhausted. He ran out of the house after seeing Goro bolt and getting Magpie to hold down the fort, and now, boyfriend in his arms, the adrenaline staggers out of his system, taking a good decade of his life with it. But still, he'll keep going.

For however long it'll take.

"Talked to Igor," he announces to Magpie, nudging the door open with his side and making sure Goro's legs don't bonk on anything. "Death isn't permanent here. Sparrow's Ren will be fine. Everything ok with the kids?"

[fogbornphantom]

Crow just... goes along with Ren, lacking the energy to really separate. His eyes are read and puffy. His cheeks are still moist with tears. His head hangs, and he heaves another heavy sigh.

"...Sorry."

It's all he can manage to say.

[pancakeboy]

What the fuck. For a moment, as he stares at Ren, his eyes are wide and startled. Then he shuts it down, and comes over to them. "I suppose we should have predicted it, with all the dead people running about. And yes, Raven has them upstairs. He knows, but with luck his duties will distract him."

He comes around to help Ren lower Crow to standing. "Really, Crow," he says, strangely gently though the sight makes him want to rip out his heart and scream, "you look like shit." Which is Magpie for I'm worried, and whoever hurt you is at least going to live a very long, painful life.

[unfoggedlotus]

Magpie's comment startles a laugh out of Ren. "Yeah," he nuzzles his the top of his boyfriend's head. "You kinda do." In his words is a resounding, bitter agreement with Mapgie's unspoken sentiment; Ren's way of saying I'll cover your tracks if you've got a body. "I don't look much better, though. Couch?"

[fogbornphantom]

"The couch will suffice." Why fight it? He lacks the energy to, simply going along with Ren and Magpie. "You shouldn't have had to see me like that..."

Angry. Out of control. So unlike him.

[pancakeboy]

Like that? His curiosity itches, but rather than pry, he goes to get the now-warm quilt from the kotatsu. He'll get the full story later.

[unfoggedlotus]

"You're human, Goro," Ren gently corrects him, setting him down on the couch with a kiss. "It's okay to be mad. I was mad, too."

[fogbornphantom]

"I attacked him for no reason. It wasn't going to fix anything." He grimaces, though the kiss makes him go limp, releasing at least some of the tension. "Sparrow counted on me, and I was too slow. I could have seriously hurt his Shadow, which would have hurt him too..."

[pancakeboy]

And Magpie's back, with his arms full of the giant kotatsu quilt, which is radiating warmth. Crow attacked Sparrow's Shadow? Really?

"But you didn't," he points out, sitting at Crow's side to wrap the quilt around him, pressing it to his shoulders and drawing it tight. "Right?"

[unfoggedlotus]

"Even if he did, I think he deserves it a bit," Ren huffs, helping Magpie spread the kotatsu over his boyfriend. "Bitch. Has no ego? Could've fooled me."

[fogbornphantom]

"I was throwing him around, Ren. I was about to maul him." In other words, it was excessive force. Far too much. Extremely unnecessary. Suffice it to say, he's giving his boyfriend a puzzled look.

[pancakeboy]

The revelations are getting weirder by the second. Coming back from the sink with a warm facecloth, he reclaims his seat at Crow's side.

"Here. I've seen Akira-kun in better shape than you after chocolate pudding." He'll wash Crow's face, if he can. Sparrow's Shadow is quite interesting, from what he's heard. "Do you really think your response was disproportionate? Given what happened, it sounds tame."

[unfoggedlotus]

"It's okay for you to snap, sometimes," Ren murmurs, patting his boyfriend's face and nodding at Magpie. He definitely needs some washing up. "No one's perfect. No one needs you to be perfect, either."

[fogbornphantom]

Crow makes no effort to fight Magpie's doting. He just sits there, exhaling softly. "I don't like losing control. I just..."

Beneath the quilt, his hands roll up tight.

"I should have been faster."

[pancakeboy]

"Bullshit," he says, catching Crow's jaw to wipe away the tears. "Honestly, I'm glad you don't go in for snot bubbles. I'm assuming you didn't stop for a picnic on the way down?"

Pat, pat, over Crow's eyes and nose, then down to his hands, wiping each finger in turn.

[unfoggedlotus]

"What, you wanna develop teleportation powers so you can always solve everyone's problems?" Ren spreads out Crow's fingers so Magpie can get at them easier. "It's not your fault."

[fogbornphantom]

"He came to me. Begged me for help, because he couldn't follow. I was the person he trusted to save his Ren, and I wasn't good enough."

His eyes squeeze shut. His hands tremble. He doesn't have the energy to strike his thigh, though. Before long, he goes limp again.

[pancakeboy]

Nngh. Lifting the cloth again, he pats Crow's eyes once, twice. Then, steeling himself, he curls in at Crow's side, gripping his shoulder. Soup will just have to wait.

"You're going in circles. You know that, right?" Over and over, I wasn't good enough. So obsessed with being perfect, necessary, infallible, being wanted most of all... it curses them all, one way or another.

[unfoggedlotus]

Ren catches Crow's hand before he can strike his thigh. "Please...stop hurting yourself," he pleads, quietly. "It's scaring me."

[fogbornphantom]

"...I'm sorry." Shit. More sniffles. Damn it. Why can't he just keep it together? Why can't he just be calm?

"This is so fucking stupid. He's already back. I shouldn't be acting like this. It's not like Konishi-san. It's not like her..."

But still, it hurts. It hurts so much.

[pancakeboy]

Damn it, and he was doing so well not thinking of his mother. Across Crow's face, he tries to catch Ren's eye; Crow will be fine. But what if he's not? whispers a voice inside him; he ignores it, using the hand on Crow's shoulder to pull himself a little closer.

"But you had nothing to do with bringing him back. You didn't predict it, You had no control, isn't that right?" Brown hair, and tears, and powerlessness; his stomach flips over.

[unfoggedlotus]

Ren lets out a shaky breath. "It's okay if you're not okay, Goro," he says, quiet. "It was pretty fucked up. Whether or not he's coming back. You just...don't deserve to suffer for it."

Gently, very very gently, he lifts Goro's hand up and lightly kisses it, then puts it back by his side.

[fogbornphantom]

Stupid tears. Goro buries his face in a gloved hand, just trying to calm his breathing. "I knew about the Shadow. I knew there was a chance." But he couldn't have known when. He couldn't have anticipated everything.

Rationally, they're right. He knows. He really does, it's just...

"It's such a cruel thing to do, leaving Sparrow to worry. I had hoped that my support would have dissuaded him from such recklessness."

[pancakeboy]

"So your support wasn't good enough either?" His hand moves around Crow's back, to his far shoulder; he lets himself lean against Crow's side, hopefully a reassuring weight and not a spiky one.

"Are you planning to blame that Ren for any of this? At some point? It was cruel, and reckless, and endangered both of you, and it was entirely his fault."

He presses the facecloth into Crow's hand.

[unfoggedlotus]

"That Ren wouldn't know how to make a decision that wasn't cruel if it bit his ass, stole his boots, 'n plucked his radishes." A little bit of Ren's latent country rage is slipping into his speech. He doesn't care. "You did your best to lead him to water. Ain't your fault he won't drink."

Ren takes Goro's glove off, twining their ring fingers together.