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[What.]

I'm not offended. [Just making that clear.] You'd know if I were offended, as I hope you understand at this juncture.

[Quickly, he sips his coffee. A bit too quickly, but he can take it.]

Apologies. I suppose I'm still a bit out of it.

[He might as well take a sip.

Mm. Certainly quality. Magpie's tastes win yet again.]

[Goddammit. He sighs, dropping back in his chair to regard Crow. His weird sibling in the quantum dimension, apparently.]

Don't apologise.

I was going to say I'm sure he's jealous. [Orly.]

Is that so?

[Heh. Well, it at least got a lil' smirk to partially form.]

Not of your—[It doesn't take more than a moment for him to come up with a suitably dismissive phrase.]—excessive experience.

Just that you have him. For whatever purposes you require.

[Because, seriously, talk about unfinished business.]

[...Pfffft. Snrk. Sorry, Magpie, but he can't help but laugh.]

I wasn't even thinking about sex specifically.

[Though, goodness. He figured it out... then again, Raven likely did, too.]

But I see what you mean. The freedom to be so close to him is... well, I only wish I could share my fortune, honestly.

[Annnnd that smile's waning again.]

[Of course they figured it out. They spent most of November and December compensating for it, with the disdain only tweens can truly muster.]

I need to talk to him. But I suppose that will come when I return. Regardless, Crow, we're not here to talk about me. Your evasions will not work.

[Because he's wise to those games now. Ask about his problems and he will decline to discuss them.]

That guy upset you, you were saying. With his intransigent bullshit.

[...Damn it. How the tables have turned.

He takes another sip of coffee before responding.]

He tried everything to push me away. Saying everything I knew about him was fake, admitting to how he hurt you, and denying that I care about him after I asserted that I did.

[Which is... well, obviously, it's not great.]

He even acted like I was trying to start a "cognitive murderer collection" as if thre was no more nuance to my actions or intentions.

[Absolutely frustrating, to say the least.]

Even his petulant bullshit is unoriginal.

[Because, okay, he can admit that he has perhaps in the past said more than one of those things himself. Admittedly, the bit about remorse is appealing; Magpie hopes that guy can't sleep at night.]

That said, you do have a collection. How many are you up to now?

I haven't exactly kept count.

[He holds his cheek up with one hand, while the other taps at the tabletop.]

He kept insisting that everyone should cut him loose. He was adamant that he will die, no matter what he tries. It was so...

[He can't even find the right words, so he takes another sip of coffee.]

And, let me guess. Cutting him loose and letting him die would offend your sense of natural justice, or some such thing.

[He watches Crow, unblinking across the table and his cooling coffee cup. At some point, he knows this has to come back to him, but it's just. So. It's so.]

I can't lose anyone else.

[His voice sounds so small. Almost closer to a frightened Raven than his usual confidence and conviction.]

[Oh, and that... it's like both of them are here at once again. Fuck, he never asked for this!

and yet he knows he did, every day, every second, see him, want him, need him, keep him, he'll do anything, anything, anything

He sets down his cup, lips pursing up tight, his very skin cringing inwards.]

Crow. [He hesitates.] ...Akechi. He's not your responsibility. You aren't "losing him", he left. He's not even from your world.

[It's so strange, so surreal for Magpie of all people to comfort Crow like this. He's doing his best. Putting forth an effort.

It's... nice.]

I know he's not my responsibility, but even if he's from a different world, it's so fucking frustrating. I have had far too many close calls. Nanako-chan nearly died. Marie came this close to suicide because she thought it was the only way to protect us all.

Why is it so hard to accept that he's worth saving?

[It's not just that Ren, though. There's another person he can think of who fits the bill...

But that goes unsaid.]

[It's better so. And yet the fact of it, the obligation of it, fills the room, along with a simple fact: Some of us just aren't worth saving.]

Why is it so hard to accept that you have obligations? [Listen to that, he even sounds ordinarily cold, though his fingernails are wrecking yet another pair of gloves at speed.] You have children who depend on you. Your Ren, to my infinite chagrin, still has furniture to wreck with you.

You need to prioritise yourself and those others over him. That's all there is.

It's not as though I've shirked my responsibilities. I'm doing everything I can for them. I don't plan to let this get in the way of my obligations.

[And yet it's clear that despite his words, it's still bugging him.

He takes another sip. Will caffeine even help him relax? Hell if he knows at this point.]

But that doesn't mean I'm happy. To be frank, it pisses me off when people I care about act as though their lives have no value or that the world would be better off without them.

[All right. That's an improvement. Rage is always better than despair, half-hearted though it might be.]

And should I ask why you waste precious care on that piece of shit?

[The dark eyes bore into the back of his head again, into the part of him that was twelve, as he reaches for his coffee cup.]

We got along well enough, established a friendship of sorts. I wouldn't say I'm as close to him as I am to you, but among this world's teenage population, he is one of the people I've spoken to the most. And now he's trying to push everyone who dared treat him kindly away. He's self-deprecating and doomsaying and being so frustratingly dismissive.

[It's infuriating. Months of good will, and this is what he gets? Really?]

...and it made me think about you. About what happened with your Ren. He said you don't plan to survive after Maruki's defeat.

[...]

I truly hope you reconsider.

[The cup wobbles in his hand. Shit. Quickly, he sets it to his mouth to buy himself time, much the way his younger self already did.]

That is a topic for another time, if ever I heard one. This has nothing to do with me.

All of that, you did for someone who spat on your mother. On her life and death. He made a mockery of her. He'd have shown you as little consideration as he showed me and his own Akechi. As little, in fact, as he's showing you now.

[And please, please let's not talk about anything relating to the slip of paper in his wallet.]

...All right, but there's a lot to talk about. Your Ren entrusted me with certain things and hoped that I'd pass them on when you returned. At some point, we'll need to discuss it.

[But that's more evasiveness, isn't it? Damn it.]

And I know the other Ren took what I assume was shared out of trust and used it as a weapon. That isn't fair to you. It never was, and I don't intend to say otherwise.

If he pushes away everyone who even tries to treat him well, he'll only hurt himself. It's absurd.

[Because he knows it's not just him. It can't be.]

I'm starting to suffer from metaphor overload.

[His eyes have gone momentarily wide and fraught, at that mention of Ren. That's not a conversation he's anxious to have, for all that he needs to hear every word Ren spoke before he left, to engrave it on his skin.

It's just that it's infuriating to have to hear over and over how that piece of shit is more important than Crow. And, clearly, more important than Magpie—for all he knows that's stupid to think.]

Do you think if I ask Igor, he'll make you twelve for a few months? You need the break.

...I don't think we need two Ravens running around. I also wouldn't want to inconvenience Ren like that. Or you, for that matter.

[But congratulations, Magpie. That prospect alone is enough to make Crow stare and briefly envision this.

Goodness.]

[Ha. The tiniest smirk touches the corner of his mouth.]

I could handle you. You could stay next door—thanks for the, uh, sign, by the way. [On his door.]

I imagine you and Raven would have quite a lot to discuss. He'd be quite beside himself. So to speak.

[Coffee siiip.]

I'd rather not put Ren in an awkward position where he's the one lonely at night.

[Hmm... Yes, another sip seems good.]

In fact, overall I would say the pros of me remaining this age far outweigh whatever amusement you and Raven would get from me reverting to a younger age.

[He wrinkles his nose at the mention of Ren. His delicate virgin ears, okay.]

You see? Consumed with responsibility. No sense of fun. Old before your time, even.

[It is really good coffee, though, and he hopes Crow appreciates it. But he's pretty sure that, just like him, the bulk of Crow's thought is still on that guy. Why can't Magpie just shoot him?]

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cw: suicide ideation mention

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