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[It's so strange, so surreal for Magpie of all people to comfort Crow like this. He's doing his best. Putting forth an effort.

It's... nice.]

I know he's not my responsibility, but even if he's from a different world, it's so fucking frustrating. I have had far too many close calls. Nanako-chan nearly died. Marie came this close to suicide because she thought it was the only way to protect us all.

Why is it so hard to accept that he's worth saving?

[It's not just that Ren, though. There's another person he can think of who fits the bill...

But that goes unsaid.]

[It's better so. And yet the fact of it, the obligation of it, fills the room, along with a simple fact: Some of us just aren't worth saving.]

Why is it so hard to accept that you have obligations? [Listen to that, he even sounds ordinarily cold, though his fingernails are wrecking yet another pair of gloves at speed.] You have children who depend on you. Your Ren, to my infinite chagrin, still has furniture to wreck with you.

You need to prioritise yourself and those others over him. That's all there is.

It's not as though I've shirked my responsibilities. I'm doing everything I can for them. I don't plan to let this get in the way of my obligations.

[And yet it's clear that despite his words, it's still bugging him.

He takes another sip. Will caffeine even help him relax? Hell if he knows at this point.]

But that doesn't mean I'm happy. To be frank, it pisses me off when people I care about act as though their lives have no value or that the world would be better off without them.

[All right. That's an improvement. Rage is always better than despair, half-hearted though it might be.]

And should I ask why you waste precious care on that piece of shit?

[The dark eyes bore into the back of his head again, into the part of him that was twelve, as he reaches for his coffee cup.]

We got along well enough, established a friendship of sorts. I wouldn't say I'm as close to him as I am to you, but among this world's teenage population, he is one of the people I've spoken to the most. And now he's trying to push everyone who dared treat him kindly away. He's self-deprecating and doomsaying and being so frustratingly dismissive.

[It's infuriating. Months of good will, and this is what he gets? Really?]

...and it made me think about you. About what happened with your Ren. He said you don't plan to survive after Maruki's defeat.

[...]

I truly hope you reconsider.

[The cup wobbles in his hand. Shit. Quickly, he sets it to his mouth to buy himself time, much the way his younger self already did.]

That is a topic for another time, if ever I heard one. This has nothing to do with me.

All of that, you did for someone who spat on your mother. On her life and death. He made a mockery of her. He'd have shown you as little consideration as he showed me and his own Akechi. As little, in fact, as he's showing you now.

[And please, please let's not talk about anything relating to the slip of paper in his wallet.]

...All right, but there's a lot to talk about. Your Ren entrusted me with certain things and hoped that I'd pass them on when you returned. At some point, we'll need to discuss it.

[But that's more evasiveness, isn't it? Damn it.]

And I know the other Ren took what I assume was shared out of trust and used it as a weapon. That isn't fair to you. It never was, and I don't intend to say otherwise.

If he pushes away everyone who even tries to treat him well, he'll only hurt himself. It's absurd.

[Because he knows it's not just him. It can't be.]

I'm starting to suffer from metaphor overload.

[His eyes have gone momentarily wide and fraught, at that mention of Ren. That's not a conversation he's anxious to have, for all that he needs to hear every word Ren spoke before he left, to engrave it on his skin.

It's just that it's infuriating to have to hear over and over how that piece of shit is more important than Crow. And, clearly, more important than Magpie—for all he knows that's stupid to think.]

Do you think if I ask Igor, he'll make you twelve for a few months? You need the break.

...I don't think we need two Ravens running around. I also wouldn't want to inconvenience Ren like that. Or you, for that matter.

[But congratulations, Magpie. That prospect alone is enough to make Crow stare and briefly envision this.

Goodness.]

[Ha. The tiniest smirk touches the corner of his mouth.]

I could handle you. You could stay next door—thanks for the, uh, sign, by the way. [On his door.]

I imagine you and Raven would have quite a lot to discuss. He'd be quite beside himself. So to speak.

[Coffee siiip.]

I'd rather not put Ren in an awkward position where he's the one lonely at night.

[Hmm... Yes, another sip seems good.]

In fact, overall I would say the pros of me remaining this age far outweigh whatever amusement you and Raven would get from me reverting to a younger age.

[He wrinkles his nose at the mention of Ren. His delicate virgin ears, okay.]

You see? Consumed with responsibility. No sense of fun. Old before your time, even.

[It is really good coffee, though, and he hopes Crow appreciates it. But he's pretty sure that, just like him, the bulk of Crow's thought is still on that guy. Why can't Magpie just shoot him?]

On the contrary. We had quite a bit of fun on Christmas Eve.

[Gasp. Is that a smirk? Heaven forbid.]

Though I will say, the product I received from "Santa Mara" made for a... unique experience.

[Fucking hell.]

Crow, I will get down on my knees and blow you if you stop talking right now. Now, please.

[c o f f e e. Save him.]

Edited 2024-01-01 09:53 (UTC)

...I'm flattered, but I believe such activities are best saved for my boyfriend.

[Yes, he's aware that this is not a serious comment. It's still quite the segue.]

[He drains the last of his coffee to the dregs before he sets down his cup.]

Yes. As is talking about them.

Let's go back to your other attempts to give me an ulcer. What are you going to do about all this?

Consider it payback for gay chicken.

[Look at that innocent smile. You can't be too mad, Magpie. Riiight?]

And to be honest, I'm not sure what there is to do about this.

[We-ell, he's not that mad. Let's say he heard the wings of the gay chicken flapping at his door.]

You know that's not acceptable. For all the reasons I stated, not to mention the ones you did.

I opted to end the conversation for now. It's obvious he isn't in a coherent state of mind and trying to reason with or argue with him further would get me nowhere fast.

[But that's really it. He shrugs and takes another sip. What else is there to do just now?]

[Maybe if they delay long enough, the problem will solve itself, he thinks. But that's too far even for him; he looks away. Then he smiles at the cognition and orders another two coffees, much larger, before eventually looking back at Crow.

Fuck, Crow can probably see what he's thinking. He frowns, reticent and defensive.]

I could talk to him. [With a gun, preferably.]

...If you want to, I won't stop you.

[It's probably necessary, anyway. They have many loose ends. It needs to be addressed.]

I appreciate it, but I also know that this can't be easy for you.

I don't plan to be pleasant to him. I have no intention of humouring him for a single second. But perhaps that's what he needs.

[And Magpie will be delighted to kick every worthless centimetre of him right out of this dimension. Count on it.]

It's absurd that he feels able to impose on you in this way.

To be honest, I think his absurd attempts to push me away were "for my own benefit."

[Which is the frustrating part, really. That he'd simply assume Crow couldn't handle whatever baggage he carries.]

So you may be right. Perhaps I was too cordial to begin with.

You know, you could save me the trouble. Get in touch with him again. Give him the kicking he deserves. I'm sure he'd even thank you.

[And there's the new coffee, for which he is devoutly thankful.]

Of course, forgiving as you are, you'll devolve it to me. The awful Akechi.

You're not awful. An awful person wouldn't put up with my bullshit and treat me to coffee.

[Time to take another swig.]

I don't want you to feel like you have to fight my battles. I just need to step back for my own good.

cw: suicide ideation mention

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