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Obviously, we match! That goes without saying.

[Damn it. Fine. Popcorn. In fact...]

Let's get the largest popcorn they have available and their most expensive drinks.

[Hm, his smile flashes into suspicious brilliance.] That's the best idea I've heard all day. I should finish this coffee, though, before we go in.

[The most expensive drink on the menu looks to be the large freshly-squeezed orange juice, which would give him acid reflux for the foreseeable future. Hm.]

... orange juice. Shall we consider the second-most-expensive? [He gulps the coffee.]

Certainly. We can be lavish without punishing our bodies with acidic substances.

[Yes, he knows he made orange juice sound like a drug. That's the joke. It's funny.]

[It is funny, and there will be no argument from Magpie's quarter. He scans the menu boards overhead. The second-most-expensive drink appears to be....]

... hot chocolate with whipped cream, gold and silver stars, a chocolate straw, and an espresso shot. You know, I've had something very similar in Akasaka, except it was scattered with gold leaf.

[He does not sound impressed.]

I'm certainly willing to try it, but what is your personal recommendation as a food critic?

[That holds value, and perhaps deferring to him will even help Magpie feel better.]

[Excuse you, Crow, he sees right through that. And having his ego stroked does make him feel better; he stands a little taller.]

First, gold leaf is a disaster. It adds nothing to food besides an inflated price tag and some questionable glamour—though, of course, sometimes that is what you want. Considering where we are, there's always the option of a quadruple espresso, which might even outstrip the listed prices.

[He glances, with a tiny, fragile smirk.] But perhaps we don't want to run the risk of being so altered? Besides, Ren would wince at me if he heard I ordered an espresso-based drink. I admit I am curious as to what passes here for "gold and silver stars".

Want to try it for the heck of it and see where it takes us?

[It's sure to be an interesting experience, at least. Less likely to offend their respective Rens, too.]

[... and he meets other-him's eye, draining the last of his coffee. Usually, when he's in company, he pretends he's too good for sweet things.]

Yes. Let's do it. [He steps forward and orders two, cooing to the cognition at the counter, who is staring slightly past him: goodness, do you know you have all the charm of a three-week-dead jellyfish? I feel I could wear you on my head, except the stink would never wash out. oh you're too kind thank you

He glances back to Crow.] So we should probably not go for the sweet popcorn, all else being equal. What do you think?

[Pffft. He can't help but laugh at the amusing insults. Well played...]

Salty to counteract the sweet? That seems reasonable. Caramel corn would likely be overwhelming if the hot chocolate is this excessive.

Then again, a hot drink won't last the entire movie—though that, of course, assumes we'll survive the whole movie....

[Turning back to the cognition with an immaculate smile, he orders two huge cartons of half-and-half—half salty, half caramel. Because he can do what he wants. He hands one to Crow.]

You're right that this seems a little excessive. But then, it is free. Shall we? [The entrance to the screens is right ahead.]

Let's begin our march to certain doom...

[He says it in an oddly ominous voice, like a dramatic stage villain.

But he'll let Magpie lead, naturally. More confidence boosting.]

[He doesn't quite notice; he takes the lead a lot, and Crow doesn't strike him as the most likely to push about it. Which is why it's effective!

He grins to himself, as they head into the dimly-lit auditorium. Some animated cups and hotdogs are doing elegant loops on the screen, against a gleaming rain of popcorn. Typical.]

Speaking of certain doom, where shall we sit? Front, middle, or—[did he pause?]—back?

Edited 2023-10-18 00:58 (UTC)

Alone in the back... how scandalous.

[He chuckles, but turns in that direction.]

I suppose it depends on how 'up close and personal' you want this experience. The back would at least give us some manner of boundary from any close up serpentine shots.

[Yes, he's wincing far more at the front seats than the back.] Lying on my back staring up at your pet serpent. I dread to think. The back it is.

[And up they go. He heads for the two centre seats, at the top of the aisle.]

I always liked sitting here—were you the same? If there's a big enough earthquake, we can roll all the way to the bottom. Though I haven't noticed any here, to be honest.

You're lucky Ren isn't here right now. He'd probably say that sounds hot.

[Well, it's not a bad seat at all. He'll sink comfortably into the seat beside Magpie, resting the popcorn comfortably in his lap. At least there's a cupholder for the hot chocolate.]

It's a good view. Not too close, typically less crowded than the front rows as well.

Yes, I'm sure Ren has seen quite enough of your back and your serpent by now.

[Slotting his extravagant drink into its holder—the stars turn out to be nothing but gold and silver star-shaped sprinkles, which aren't without a certain charm—he, too, drops into his seat, the popcorn before him like a shield. Hm, they are good seats.]

But yes. Nobody can sit in front of us. We have an excellent view of— [For some reason, the cups have acquired neat brown wigs, while the hot dogs have picked up messy black ones. He picks a piece of salted popcorn from his cup and hurls it, raising his voice and starting to laugh.]

This is trash! Where's the movie? [Magpie, that may not be a very good idea.]

Only in the bathhouse.

[As if beckoned by Magpie's complaint, the little snack mascots filter away. The screen darkens...

Dramatic music builds...

And then a narrator.

IN A WORLD... WITH FAR TOO MANY GORO AKECHIS, ONE PHILOSOPHICAL DEBATE BECKONS.

IS THE TYRANNOSAURUS REX, THE TYRANT KING... A SCAVENGER OR A PREDATOR?

Crow snorts, taking a sip from his cocoa.]

Well, this is new.

It's obviously a predator. Even Akira-kun knew that. Well, I say "even". [Since the kid is already an expert on dinosaurs, beyond what Akechi can hope to touch without further study. Pushing the boat out, he peels a few kernels into his mouth, as the trailer continues.

A very fine plush T-rex bobs in, pausing before a rather worse-for-wear... Ryujorb? Sakamotorb? Regardless, it has harshly embroidered crosses for eyes, and a pink felt tongue hanging out. The T-rex bobs hopelessly over the unfortunate Ryujorb. DID TYRANNOSAURUS SCAVENGE FROM THE CORPSES OF THE DEAD?]

Hope it doesn't eat brains. [His eyes are bright, and his grin a bit feral, as the voiceover continues.]

...Do you have bizarre fantasies about Ryuji dying?

[There's no inherent judgment in his voice. Just bewilderment.

But the trailer doesn't stop there... The screen rumbles. There's a triumphant roar.

A photorealistic CGI T-rex storms in, but its tiny arms aren't enough to lift the fallen Ryujorb. Instead, it grabs the plush T-Rex in its maw as Akira-kun rides on its back with a blanket cape and crown.

NO! THEY WERE HUNTERS! AND NOW THE SUSHI IS GOOD! DON'T FORGET TO EAT!

Sushi rains down. This is becoming a very strange commercial. The T-rex is now chomping the sushi and has a Goro Akechi hairdo.

THE TRUTH ABOUT T-REX... COMING SOON TO A THEATER NEAR YOU.]

[Ugh.] What are you talking about? I have fantasies about everyone dying....

[But then Akira-kun is storming the screen, in glorious Technicolor, with his blanket cape and one small fist punching the heavens, and apparently...?]

Wait, is that me? The dinosaur? Can I trade for the snake? [But the screen is fading to black, and dark water is rippling in. Something about a... ship? Fuck.

His heart sinks through the floor, and his gorge rises. FAR FROM THEIR HOMES AND WITH ONLY EACH OTHER, TWO STAR-CROSSED LOVERS MUST FIGHT FOR SURVIVAL—there are quick suggestions of orbs, at least one of which looks suspiciously Gorby—

AND FUN!

The wide-angle now shows a Gorb, alongside a previously-unsuspected Horb (Harorb?) clad in deep plum. They are bouncing from side to side together, a little too enthusiastically. Akechi scrabbles for his phone.] Shit.

...That must be Rose and her version of us, because I am certainly not straight, and I'm fairly certain you aren't either. And I'm absolutely not bisexual... Or interested in Haru-san in such a capacity.

[Just... what. They're on a boat now. A boat out in the middle of a sea made of shiny blue foil.

BUT A GRAVE OBSTACLE STANDS IN THE WAY OF THEIR FEELINGS...

Suddenly, a Sugimora Orb appears. A Sugimorb.

SO TOGETHER, THEY'LL FIGHT TO SEND HIM TO THE GRAVE!

The Horb and Gorb are now pummeling Sugimorb. Okay then.]

I don't even want to think about Rose in that way.

[Said with the distracted air of the truly uninterested. He has his phone camera set up to activate with a single swipe of his finger; it records as, clad in sharply spiked skirts and with high-pitched squeaks, Horb and Gorb joyfully reduce Sugimorb to a pile of shredded stuffing.

They have just started bouncing excitedly up and down together again when the voice intones: BUT CAN BOTH ORBS SURVIVE THE CALL OF THE DEEP? This is followed by the camera very obviously turning on its side. The orbs tumble sideways and out of shot nonetheless, eeping frantically.

The screen fades to black; he shuts off the camera.] Uh. What the shit. Maybe I won't send this to her after all. [He'll keep it, though.]

Edited 2023-10-18 04:56 (UTC)

...It certainly was an eventful trailer.

[Suddenly, upbeat music plays.

A REUNION MONTHS IN THE MAKING...

There's a shot of the velvet room. A gorb in a Shujin Uniform BOUNCES OUT, bumping right into a... Rorb.

NOW TOGETHER AGAIN, THEY CAN FACE ALL OF LIFE'S RESPONSIBILITIES.

Cue a shot of the Gorb being surrounding by tiny, bouncing Gorbs and an Akirorb. The larger Rorb is also bouncing. There's another, grumpier Gorb watching with a little smirk.

BUT LITTLE DOES ONE PRICKLY GORB REALIZE... THERE'S NO ESCAPING THE LORB OF RORB AND CRORB.

The... Rorb pushes the Shujin Gorb (Crorb) up against Magorb. There is also a pizza for some reason.

CAN THESE THREE UNLIKELY HEROES LEARN TO LIVE IN HARMONY?

Crow just stares at the screen, trying not to snicker.]

I would certainly hope so.

Edited 2023-10-18 05:02 (UTC)

[Okay, he is legit only just over his relief that that wasn't Shido's ship in the last trailer. Is that smirky Gorb meant to be him? It's even got...]

Shit, it's even got my jacket. [The one he's wearing, and has been hard to separate from for the last month; the smirky orb is clad in green fuzz, and... pizza goo, after the last Rorb/Crorb combined assault. Semi-delicately, he loads a handful of popcorn into his mouth, to prevent anything else from coming out of it.

It looks like that was the last trailer. When it fades to black this time, it stays black. He swallows the last of his popcorn.]

I can rub up against you like that if you really want. Just spare me the pizza.

I have no idea why pizza came up in the first place. As for close contact, we literally held each other the other night and your apartment didn't burn down.

[So it's fine, really. As long as it's not sexual, it's perfectly fine...

And then from the darkness comes narration...

It was a normal day like any other...

The camera shifts to a shot of a beach.

We were celebrating my birthday, only it wasn't me. It was me... from the past.

Shot of what looks like Raven whispering to a tiny Akechi and a tiny Akira. Oh no.

Everything was going so well, until one fateful moment...

Cut to a shot of two older teenage Akechi. One of them looks at his phone.

Then, everything changed.

Suspenseful music follows, and already, Crow is resisting the urge to cringe.]

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