pancakeboy | [ic] it starts with an earthquake

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[ic] it starts with an earthquake

[[ooc: backdated to the 27th.]]

It's dawn when Akechi wakes.

Grey light is filtering through the curtains and nothing stirs. Everything seems... fine? He can't remember the last time he slept this well, in fact. His arm is around someone, and his other arm's folded beneath the pillow, and—

Wait, what the fuck?! Back up!

The fact of himself hits him all at once, and he freezes in horror. Raven is in front of him—still asleep? Akechi prays he's asleep—and with a bit of luck, he won't wake for a good while longer. Long enough to sneak away to freedom, perhaps.

The last two months tangle in his head all at once. And he starts to work untangling them, of course, because that's just who he is. His hand tightens, half-perceptibly, in Raven's pyjama top.

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"I think he'd be disappointed if you did." The hand squeeze is nice. Raven looks at their hands for a second. "This is the same Crow who made you soup at an incredibly late hour and then spent the night with you. ...and who got you your own gifts he's been holding onto. We both did."

He looks down at Raven's small hand in his own. Just yesterday they were the same size. "You didn't have to do that."

"But we wanted to." Huge emphasis on that, Magpie. Personal agency! "It was important that we got presents for you as you are. Neither one of us wanted you to feel as though you were inferior or a replacement."

Oh, it's infuriating. Everything just... all the walls he spent so long building, all his life in fact, knocked flat by a snot-nosed child. A child who also happened to be him.

He stares down at his lap, rotating the child he was in his mind like some people rotate puzzle boxes in the tips of their fingers. So defensive, so prepared, so clever, damn it, and all of it destroyed the moment someone....

Again, he bites his lip. This time, he doesn't unpick it. "You know that isn't how it works," he says quietly, cold rather than cruel; Raven can probably tell he's going through the motions. "The differences between your friend and I should have been moderately obvious, and I don't mean that I'm past puberty and he's not."

"I'm allowed to care about both of you. You don't get to decide that for me." He doesn't sound particularly cross, at least, but certainly firm. "I understand that you often try to put up barriers as a way to protect yourself. Rather hard not to when I'm still unlearning that particular habit, but I should think that after everything we've endured together that we're past the need for that."

He doesn't quite deflate. Rather, it's like some deep framework under his skin restructures itself, so his attitude visibly shifts without it being clear how.

"We have been through a lot, haven't we? That fucking shadow in the TV world, my first time." The Ren shadow. It feels like that first time he stepped into Mementos, even to mention it.

"Not only that. I still remember how I stupidly tried to protect you from Crow's attack during that spar." Not his brightest moment, and he ducks his head a little, definitely sheepish. "You came over when Hawk was still new, and that was after you were so kind to him. You let me stay the night with you multiple times, and you were there for me after I tried to face that Shadow..."

There's just so much. Those memories matter, too. "I made good memories with your younger self, but he didn't remember all of that. I know I'll miss him, but I still missed you."

He glances back behind him, to where Hawk's still buried under his Featherman quilt; his face shadows. "I didn't have a choice, did I? Not with one of us so young. Anyway, I had business with Crow."

But his hand's still on Raven's. He long ago stopped wondering what it would have been like to have siblings—around middle school age, in fact. But would it have been like this?

... ridiculous thought that that is. Again, he glances down at his lap.

"You're doing it again." But again, no ire. No anger. There's a hint of exasperation, but nothing more. "I don't need to be under Call of Chaos to point it out this time. Sometimes... I suppose it's important to point out when the people you care about are being ridiculous." But even 'ridiculous' carries a slightly teasing edge. "If you're uneasy, I understand. But it's just us. You don't have anything to prove."

Carefully, he turns Raven's hand over in his own. Not even callouses on his fingers, after all he's done; he owes the Metaverse for that.

"Jumping in front of that Eigaon really was the most ridiculous thing I've seen, you know. Maybe the second most ridiculous. But—I'd be lying if I said it meant nothing to me."

How about that, Raven? Any better? He glances to check.

Hey, look. A little smile. That's a good sign. "Good. I know it can seem like people only act kind for their own benefit. To be honest, I'm still surprised Morgana was able to talk me into accepting my Shadow when he did. And it's not as though I have no doubts. I left a lot unresolved with the people back home..."

Yu and the others chief among them.

"Hm. But I think I've known you longer now. Funny how that happens."

"Mm." The sun's far higher than it was, above the window now; someone is moving downstairs. "...listen to that. Time to face the music, isn't it?

"Do you know I thought I'd found somewhere, once?" He is making no moves to start the day.

"...Mm. But it didn't work out, right? You were sent away again, I imagine." There's a lot he'd heard from Magpie's younger self, but there's probably more to say. "We won't do that to you. I know this won't last forever, but—" Hey. Hey, wait. "Would you mind passing me my phone? You can keep talking, though. I'll listen."

Yeah, he has that one figured out. But he grabs it, letting Raven go, and passes it across. "Send him my love, won't you?"

Give him a second as he opens his messages and—

"Oh!" He hastily opens the message. Shows it to Magpie. "It got through. That means..." Give him a second. His hands are shaking a little as the realization sets in. "We can still keep in touch. Even when we leave, it won't have to be goodbye..."

That... He reaches to take the phone, if he can, still staring at the message.

Raven lets him look, still a bit shaken himself, but despite his watery eyes, a little smile's taking form. "Igor-san didn't lie, then. He won't have to be alone anymore. And you won't either."

There are any number of brushoffs he could give to that stupidly sentimental statement, and he utters not a one.

Instead, he swallows, staring at the screen as he hands the phone back, and observes, "The number's changed. I suppose he's been rescued from his dreadful fate."

Raven texts back, but as he does, he continues speaking. "But that's proof that you can do the same. I know you likely still have reservations, but I have faith in you. I'm sure Crow does, too."

Akechi watches him text, looking sadder than he realises. Raven really thinks he has a future, that even if Ren Amamiya somehow lives, Akechi's path still isn't set in stone. And all that shit future-Ren came out with, in his detention uniform... he hasn't forgotten him talking to Crow.

All of them so convinced he should have a happy ending. How is it that the mass-murderer is the only one here with a moral compass? "We do all have a way of getting what we want, don't we?"

He touches Raven's shoulder, though, and shit, for a moment he actually wants to believe. Wants to think he can break all his chains and just settle for the little gold ones Raven has on his ankles and wrists, that are so pretty and pleasant to wear. "I'm glad you can still talk to him. I'm glad he'll have someone. And hey, that really does change everything, doesn't it? Assuming that it holds for all of us, and not just him."

"You'll have us, too." And that's really important to reaffirm. Raven looks up at him, a fiery determination in his eyes. "Regardless of your transgressions, I genuinely believe it's better for you to face the future than to throw it away. Better to use the knowledge you've gained to prevent future tragedies... but it's up to you to shape your future. We'll just be here if you ever need to get outside your own head."

He pauses.

"And that's then. This is now. I'm here. You're here. You're safe."

His hand tightens on Raven's shoulder.

"Do you know you're the most annoying thirteen-year-old I've ever met?" Almost as annoying as Oracle was becoming—which makes more sense now. And that's a whole other nest of shit he'll have to face now, isn't it? "Please try to keep in mind that I'm the oniisan here now."

Because... long before Magpie's change, Raven was his responsibility. A responsibility he had the luxury of keeping to, come hell or high water. There was nothing, he was fairly sure, that could get in his way.

He's a lot more sure now than he was.

Pffft. Raven just rolls his eyes. "But you still put up with me." Ergo, he can't be that annoying. "But it's true. You're still older and more experienced than me. And... well, I've always thought of you that way."

As an oniisan. So... yeah. Him saying the quiet part out loud is nice.

Magpie doesn't say anything. Instead, he sighs, tense inside, and lets himself lean against Raven so the tension tries to ease. The moment feels elegiac and strange.

The leaning is okay. Raven welcomes it and leans back. It's nice. Comforting, even. Hopefully Magpie feels similarly.

"If there's anything you want to do today, you should do it." As a treat.

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