pancakeboy | ic inbox [ota]

Accepting my Shadow didn't erase my Shadow.

Those feelings of loneliness, vulnerability, the desire for love and companionship and to mean something to other people... I think on some level, they'll always be there. Like scars.

So yes, I suppose in a way, a part of me is still Raven. The doubts may be more subconscious. Like a reflex. A defense mechanism. But they are there, loath as I am to admit it.

Well. I doubt my thoughts on the topic would be helpful. Regardless, I do hope this situation goes as you hope. I'll be here, though, if it should fail. [You can hear the "when".]

Certainly you can take an evening off from the children without it constituting abuse.

We probably will, once everyone has had time to settle in. Ren wants to do everything he can to make a good first impression.

That does include you, as I said.

...Ignoring his ridiculous quips, which obviously were quite shameless.

We may spend the night in the living room, to show that we are both here for them.

And if we do take a night to ourselves, we'll make sure someone is there for them, whom they can trust.

"Someone" meaning me, I take it?

Only if you are available.

If not, there are other options. Akira, for instance. Kanji has also shown willingness to check in on the children.

But Ren is already gushing about how much he wants to be a good dad. It's quite charming.

[It's not charming. Charming is the last thing he finds it to be; it turns his stomach.]

The two of you are like a horror movie. I will watch the children, though. We'll see how it goes.

Speaking of horror movies, would you like to go see the "Serpent Below the Belt" film when we get the chance?

Perhaps as something to do in order to give the children some alone time with Ren.

It might be good for a laugh.

[Wow, talk about spinning on a dime.]

It might be good for profound psychological trauma. Don't we have enough of that, between us? Are you offering me "alone time" to assuage my insecurities? It's very sweet.

One of these days you'll realize that I unironically like your company.

But at this point, I might as well surrender to the fact that I made that monstrosity. I have doomed myself to a reputation of absurd metaphors for male anatomy.

I'm sure your serpent is adorable, if it helps.

[Like every other part of them the eye can see. Well, sometimes.]

Yes, let's do it. I can't remember the last time I did anything truly stupid. Unless it was letting Raven drag me into the TV world. But that worked out.

I'm fairly certain they're identical if we mean the real world equivalents.

But who knows what absurdity awaits in that film? Perhaps we can each write our own scathing reviews. Or if it turns out it's some profound work of art, we can give it the appraisal it may but likely won't deserve.

At some point we really should go to the bathroom together and check. Not for gay chicken reasons, just out of curiosity. You never know, perhaps one of us was in a hideous wood chipper accident. If it's a profound work of art, you should ask for royalties for that poster. In fact, all of us are missing a trick. They're using our likenesses on the TV, too.

My assets have not been chipped, thank you very much. And wouldn't a bathhouse be preferable? Certainly more relaxing than a bathroom.

They owe us royalties regardless. Unfortunately, money means nothing in this place.

Ah, but there are more forms of currency than mere lucre. We could claim it in access. For each time we feature in generated media, we claim a period of time unharassed. You'd go to a bathhouse with me?

[Actually, that looks a bit plaintive. Shit.]

And in turn, they must air unaltered, classic episodes of Featherman. Not the extra glitzy version that made you throw the remote into the TV.

But yes. I don't see why not. It's not like we'd see anything we don't see any time we take a shower.

[That's the benefit of other selves, really. It's... normal? To know what their bodies look like.]

In fairness, it wasn't the glitz. It was Ren and Feather Hawk existing in the same part of my brain.

[Ah, tween boys and their nascent sexuality. Where does it end?]

It might be nice to relax. When you have time. Not anywhere close to when we view the Serpent movie, about which I currently have sixteen and a half misgivings.

...You as well? I actually was an avid Red and Black shipper when I was younger.

I still stand by the fact that they had the superior chemistry.

[He knows what he's about. Heteronormativity is just so trite.]

Hmm... yes, I suppose that would be ill-timed, wouldn't it? We wouldn't want a repeat incident from the beach where our bodies decide to act in accordance to their own machinations.

Though to be honest, I suspect the entire movie to be an enormous turnoff.

Wait. Black Condor or Black Falcon?

[Thank you, he knows one is just a reinvention of the other, but Black Condor was better.]

Black Condor, obviously, as any truly refined Featherman aficionado would know and appreciate.

[He is mollified. Slightly!]

Very well. He's still underwritten, of course, but then being eight counted for a lot. I thought they should have been friends. [r/sapphoandherfriend has entered the chat.]

[Aww, Magpie. That's super relatable...]

I wrote fix-it fanfiction, you know.

I was a bored teenager after the murders with access to the internet. It was all rather embarrassing in hindsight, but I was a pretentious middle schooler with very strong opinions.

I stopped following it when I moved out. I'd have had to go to the TV room, and I didn't want anyone to know. Freedom had its own constraints, it turned out. Aren't you supposed to be talking to your little feather plum, or whatever it was?

[Like, this seems a great deal of talking to him. Not that he's not greedily eating up every moment and word.]

I'll have you know that he's the one with the elaborate petnames.

I think the most I've really used with him is "my Joker" and "darling," which are saccharine as hell, but they're simple. To the point.

And I think you'll find I'm quite adept at multitasking. We're enjoying ourselves. Having some takoyaki at the Junes food court as we bask in our shared company.

Don't eat the red ones.

[Because yes, he still cringes when he thinks about it. My Joker, though, that's... nothing he wants to think about in any sort of detail.]

Is this that threesome I was promised, then? It thrills me to my every pore.

That sounds ominous.

[They're just takoyaki. Perfectly normal takoyaki. Why would they be red?]

He made so many comments about that. Off the top of my head, "two at once, just the way I like it," wanting to judge the "stimulating sport" of gay chicken, and that the thought of two of us was appealing.

But it was his very bizarre brand of hormonal teenager humor. I sincerely doubt he expects something like that.

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