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[He thinks about that. Those cage bars again, fixed so close to his skin. Call of Chaos, which they share, and which he believes his counterpart can't begin to understand. The countless psychotic breakdowns—he really did lose count long ago—that he largely doesn't even feel bad about, or remember; they blur together.]

I could do more than that. Not that you'd enjoy it—or who knows, perhaps you would. [And not that other-him has a Shadow—though that seems to be more of a moveable feast than he's thought.]

To you, I'm the road not taken. The potholes you missed, the coins flipped heads-up. As much a nightmare as our mindless friend the housebreaker. [He had the key, Akechi.]

Maybe that's why you can't look away from me. You see me as unchained in some way you're not.

I feel like there's a lot to it. I was already attached to you after you'd saved my younger self. Every bit of admiration he has is carried over to me, even if I'm more conscious to the "less ideal" sides of you that he doesn't fully understand.

[Not that he's wholly clueless- he heard just enough to realize there's more beneath the surface. But his child self doesn't know about the murders. Doesn't fully grasp Call of Chaos.]

I don't regret the path I've walked, but I certainly do hold myself to high standards. To be a model son, a model student, a responsible leader to the Phantom Thieves, an ace detective... My family has seen the "uglier" side of me, they understood it, but that was years ago, and my responsibilities in Tokyo are different.

[Heh... How funny.]

I suppose a part of me just wanted to be "better," to not need Loki anymore, but that was always a stupid notion.

Edited 2023-09-12 17:29 (UTC)

This again. [In the kitchen, the morning after. In the back of his mind, horns and hooves gleam.]

Do you know you bring up Loki more than I do?

...I suppose it really is just that you're the only person I feel like I can even acknowledge that side of myself with.

[Heh. And yet, in spite of all that...]

But to you, Loki is a well worn glove. With me, he's a reminder of a time when my world felt like it was crumbling around me, and all I could do was scream in fury as I yearned to kill the madman who made Inaba the stage for his nihilistic charade.

[He brings a hand up to his temple, wincing.]

I wonder what'd happen if I used Call of Chaos on myself now, but I think stealing motorcycles would be a more reliable form of catharsis.

You see this bad influence business goes both ways. You have me performing victimless crimes. [Sure, he'll bring the dark humour—even if he's not quite feeling it. He would love to steal a motorbike right now.

He's still never used Call of Chaos on himself. Hasn't dared. It's enticing, the way diving from a bridge is enticing.]

But yes, again—for you, Loki is all the worst parts of yourself, undeniable. Something you can never leave behind. For me... Loki is who I am. Who I always was, and wouldn't admit to.

Edited 2023-09-12 19:59 (UTC)

Rationally, I'm not even sure if he's "the worst" or if it's my own traumatic experiences making it feel that way. ...Not that you're lacking in that department either, but I've seen the difference in the way you wield Robin Hood.

[That almost empty, puppet-like state, so hollowed out that it's just a facsimile of "goodness."]

Heh... But wouldn't that be something? The two of us just going completely unchained, with no idea what the end result would be.

[His whole being twists with yearning and revulsion. Every time he uses it, he wonders what he'd be. What secrets there are, left deep in his heart.]

If you're talking about giving someone on a motorbike a psychotic breakdown, I've done that. I can't recommend it.

We could do the motorbikes. We could, perhaps... see what happens in a rematch with the chains around our hearts broken.

[His fingers dig into his hair. He's not even sure where he's going with this.]

I think we could both benefit from something that lets us cut our restraints.

And you want it. [It's quiet as hell. He wants it, too. Except....]

So many things I want are out of reach. I'm trying to keep busy. Trying to find direction. I do care about those kids, but around them, I have to restrain myself. I have to be the responsible one.

[Heh, heh... Broken laughter escapes him.]

I need to get this out of my system somehow.

[Direction? At least that's not something he lacks—for now.] It's not that I don't think you're equal to those children. It's more the boredom of it I was afraid would get to you. You see what being locked up with other people's housework did to me.

[It's a joke. Probably. He doesn't ask why other-him feels the need to restrain himself around the kids, or otherwise; why he wants to be sure they have all the things the two of them didn't. He knows.]

So what's your plan? Ueno—[the hub of the motorcycle subculture in Tokyo]—or Mementos?

...What's preferable to you? That's equally important. Although I suppose the motorbikes wouldn't be terribly hard to obtain, and...

[Oh, where is he going with this? Another thought pops into his head. His very busy head full of racing thoughts and feelings.]

I could always show you my Evoker.

Edited 2023-09-12 21:37 (UTC)

Your–? [He doesn't know the term. But it sounds interesting....

He makes the connection, probably, just as his counterpart starts to explain; his face clears in astonishment. I have the means to summon a Persona even outside the Metaverse...]

...Wouldn't it be funny to see Loki destroy Shido's office even further?

[The wonders of an Evoker... it'd be possible. Cathartic, even. Oh so tempting.]

[And that dull gleam in his eye brightens to a spark. That is so tempting. Such a beautiful image...

His face falls.] We did promise your younger self he'd be in on the kill. Unless you'd rather he not be there for Loki.

That said, you're not wrong. I'd very much like to see that. And to see how you do it. [Because summoning Loki in what passes for the real world? Yes, he does want to.]

Hmmm... Any other place you'd recommend as a warmup?

[They do have options, after all. If they are to save the big event for his younger self's birthday... hmmm...]

[... and his eyes darken, as his smile fades to nothing.]

The SIU Director's office. It's not Shido, but it's close. [He'd like to see that fucker burn alive.]

...Yes. That would be an apt target, wouldn't it?

[Justice for Sae as well, he can only imagine. Certainly a worthwhile venture...

His glare only lasts a few moments before he relaxes.]

So I suppose the real question is, shall we seize the motorcycles before or after laying siege to his office?

[It doesn't take him long to decide.]

Let's do the office. I want to see what you've got. Plus, I'll sleep better knowing that shithole's been removed from the map.

We're going to have to take a quick detour to the Niijima residence, then. My room there is where I've stored my more dangerous belongings that aren't child-appropriate.

[He'll at least finish off his second drink, though, so not to be wasteful.]

I trust that won't be a problem?

Not at all.

[He finishes up his own. Then, because he's going to die and he's in a space between worlds and he can do as he wishes, he pulls the lemon slice from the edge of the glass and shoves into his mouth. Mouth full as they head for the door, he adds...]

I would love to see the Niijima residence.

[...Pfffft. He can't help but laugh at his other self's lemon antics.]

Just don't make a mess. It is my home away from home, after all.

[Well, the convenient thing about this place, in a sense, is the shortened distances. They may have to hop a train to get from Kichijoji, of course, but at least they don't have to worry about packed seats.]

[Out in the night, the air is cool on his skin, and Kichijoji Station isn't far from Jazz Jin at the best of times. Stars glimmer overhead; he stops to stare at them for a moment.]

That's so strange. Don't you think? Whose cognition is responsible for those?

[The stars. He's a city boy, and only half-knew they existed until he got his Personas.]

Oh, it's certainly strange, but of all the oddities this world brings, I can't say it's unwelcome.

[He joins his other self in watching the stars, resting a hand on his hip.]

The stars were one of the things I missed the most from Inaba. So much that Ren got me one of those packages of glow in the dark stars you stick to the ceiling. It was... a bit childish, I suppose, but a kind gesture all the same.

[And he turns, blinking, away from the sky. He'd have loved those when he was a kid, but...]

Is that right? You know, Ren has these on his ceiling. On the beams of the attic. [The Phantom Thief hideout, of course; it was the first time he'd seen it.]

And it's... the same ceiling, isn't it? [Wild guess.]

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