the boy in the belfry

[pancakeboy]

In the end, Akechi comes out of Mementos into the Shibuya night, walks past the people still making for the station, and sits in the shadows, on a bench under the trees. Nobody notices him; a lot of the people passing are drunk, and couldn't see a metre in front of their face.

Shido had dragged him out for a psychotic breakdown, of course. And it was fun, they're always fun, they're funny. Except for this one he'd also been really fucking angry; even getting to the target had almost killed him. That thing inside him that's not Loki, exactly, but is like Loki; the thing that's always in chains, and can't quite spread its wings. Akechi gives it a little prod every time he fights, to see what it will do.

And it's him, of course, just like Loki is him, deep down. Why shouldn't he hurt things? Shadows aren't fucking real. Even a person's shadow isn't them. And yet there's always that chain on his neck, fine gold rather than a prison shackle, whispering control.

For the first time, he consciously thinks about Ren, reaching for his phone. This time it's the gold chain that tightens on his neck, as he types from memory.

"In the moment a captive lion steps out of his cage, he possesses a wider world than the lion who has known only the wilds. While he was in captivity, there were only two worlds to him; the world of the cage, and the world outside the cage. Now he is free. He roars. He attacks people. He eats them. yet he is not satisfied, for there is no third world that is neither the world of the cage nor the world outside the cage."

Comments

[pancakeboy]

[Shut up, he's not hinting.]

No, I'll get a taxi when I'm ready. You worry too much.

It's nice here at this hour, you know. Quiet. Dark. No dodging and weaving. [The crowds.]

[poesmasquerade]

when i came to tokyo ppl told me id get mugged if i went out after dark

[ By "people" he means the one elderly neighbor who wasn't too afraid or repulsed to talk to him. ]

[pancakeboy]

Did you believe them?

Anyway, I'm a detective. If I get mugged my revenge will last six generations or more.

[poesmasquerade]

[ That second text... too real. ]

i didnt know what to believe lol
it seemed a little sensationalized
but id never been to tokyo. for all i knew there were gang wars every night

and i was scared

[ Nah. He deletes that. ]

[pancakeboy]

You're more likely to get mugged here than you were in Ibaraki. But honestly, the risk is still low.

Nobody is even looking at me. Perhaps I should sing something. [Lol. As if.]

[poesmasquerade]

if ur going to sing open a video chat first

[pancakeboy]

[Something is weird about that text. Hm.]

I'm not singing.

I didn't think you could drive. Would you really have ridden to my rescue?

[poesmasquerade]

id have called a taxi and valiantly sat in the passenger seat as it drove to ur rescue

[pancakeboy]

At one in the morning?

[poesmasquerade]

sure

[pancakeboy]

[He stares at the screen.]

I think you just want to see where I live.

[poesmasquerade]

i also want that

[ No point lying about it, although he thinks he's about as likely to actually see Akechi's apartment as Medjed is to change their minds and issue a public apology. ]

but i couldve gotten another taxi home from shibuya if u just wanted some temporary moral support

[pancakeboy]

[Imagine being the kind of trash who needs moral support. He scoffs under his breath.]

You are quite the public servant, aren't you. Don't make the mistake of thinking anything I say when we're fucking is real.

[...that's the only thing I have. The only thing that's yours alone. He'd said it. He'd said it, and—he'd meant it?

In the end, he sends the text uncompleted.]

[poesmasquerade]

[ Ren looks down at his phone for a second with a quizzical little smile. Akechi is so strange. ]

or maybe i just like you
have u considered that

[ As soon as he sends those messages he deeply regrets it, and quickly follows it up with: ]

actually speaking of that i have a question

[pancakeboy]

[When he realises the edge of his phone is cutting into his hand, he sets it down on his knee.]

Ask.

[poesmasquerade]

[ Hm, yeah, that went down about as well as Ren expected. ]

when do u want to meet up again?
it doesnt have to be at night. we dont have to fuck, we can just hang out

[ Despite the casual wording, he is nervous. There's a chance that Akechi will say, What do you mean, "we don't have to fuck"? ]

[pancakeboy]

[It does cross his mind. But they used to meet up and not fuck, and it wasn't the... well, things certainly were a lot more controlled back then.]

I'm booked up until next week. [That's to say, phase two of the Medjed plan goes live on Sunday, and Akechi will be seeing Ren then, one way or another. Not to mention Sae.]

When you say "hang out", what do you have in mind? Exactly? [Because Akechi does not "hang out".]

[poesmasquerade]

idk. theres a lot of stuff we could do
watch a movie, play games, get food, go to the park, see an exhibit, go shopping, go to the batting cages
just sit around somewhere and talk
its a big city

[pancakeboy]

[Boring, maybe, boring, boring, probably boring... The last one catches his interest.]

Are those the batting cages in Yongen-jaya? I suppose I'm not surprised you go there.

[poesmasquerade]

ye
better than pull-ups on my splintery ceiling beams

[pancakeboy]

You're like something out of a horror movie.

I suppose we could do that. Though I can't guarantee my availability until nearer the time.

[What will you say, when I defeat you? I know you'll look me in the eye. You'll hate me, like you should have known to do all along. That's how this inevitably ends.... whatever this is, it can't ever be real.]

Do you think about the future?

[poesmasquerade]

[ The first message makes him grin, a sunny expression he rarely shows to anyone. Too bad Akechi's not here to see it. But the last one... ]

ye sometimes
why

[ "The future" can mean a lot of things. Career prospects, college (both more complicated topics than they were eight months ago, before his conviction), his love life, how he's going to take care of his parents when they're old, who's going to take care of him when he's old, the future of the human race... not to mention all the questions about the future of the Phantom Thieves, which only seem to multiply every time they change the heart of a palace ruler. He thinks about it all, usually late at night when he ought to be asleep. ]

[pancakeboy]

[He should have known not to expect more than that; he bites his lip.]

Do you look forward to it?

[poesmasquerade]

[ ...he blinks at his phone. ]

idk. no ones asked me that before

[ He looks forward to stuff like freedom from his parents and finding a place where no one knows he was ever a probationer. But other things like leaving Tokyo, the inevitable dissolution of the Phantom Thieves at the end of the school year if not sooner... not really. ]

its hard to give one answer when the future has so much stuff in it
i used to be afraid of it but now its more of a mixed bag i guess?
what about you

[pancakeboy]

[He knew this one would be turned back on him, if he asked it.]

Very much so, in parts. Less so, in others.

[The time is coming when the noose he has around Shido's neck will finally close, after all. But before that, there's another noose to close, inevitably. And after that..?

Station Square is silent and deserted around him.]

"Goro Akechi" wouldn't tell you this. You know that guy. He'll say anything. But when I look at the future, I see very little. I don't know that I see a place for myself in the adult world. Is that something you understand?