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[pancakeboy]

[Text him! Or do whatever, I'm not the police, and neither is he, thank God. Just specify if you want the more-fun-but-less-stable pre-11/20 guy or the grumpy third semester/postcanon guy. Pancake only for VRDR guys please, he's not third semester yet]

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[pancakeboy]

I'll talk to him. [It's too quiet, too tired.] After all, you know Moth far better than I do. Someone needs to reassure him, self-sufficient or no.

[fogboundcrow]

I'll do my best. I, at the very least, know what it's like to be scared of being replaced or forgotten.

[It's taken a long time to stop that fear from dominating his every moment. It's easier now. At least with Magpie.]

And if Ren gets particularly annoying, I may sneak over to your apartment. No stories required.

[pancakeboy]

[Something inside him quivers miserably, in lonely recognition. Then he does his best to stamp on its neck and kill it, with the result that he feels even more sick and stupid. Great. He wants to reply so little that it's like his lips are glued to his teeth.]

... you can always come. [Deep breaths.] Or text. You aren't still flapping about bothering me with text messages, I hope.

[fogboundcrow]

If you want, I can tell you all the embarrassing things Crow does over texts, and you can use that as leverage to get him to...

[Hmm... To do what, though...]

Finally get a dishwasher?

[pancakeboy]

I shouldn't need leverage. He should keep on top of his own interests.

[Embarrassing things, though... that sounds promising. Or does it?]

Not that I'm going to decline, you understand, but just how embarrassing are we talking?

[fogboundcrow]

Amusing sleep habits, pictures of him in the morning, freshly out of bed, perhaps his pre-coffee behavior.

[There are certainly options. He's seen many odd things since they started living together...]

[pancakeboy]

I've seen him freshly out of bed. [Not helping with those wild rumours, Magpie. Those sleep habits, though....]

Wait a moment. Does he not have nightmares? [Because they both do, and they both know it.]

[fogboundcrow]

...I think he does. Perhaps not always, but there are certainly times where his sleep seems... restless. I've heard him cry out a few times.

[He heaves a heavy sigh.]

And sometimes I've heard him cry.

[pancakeboy]

[Akechi doesn't quite freeze, glancing up at Raven. That's... not what he expected to hear, somehow. Not what he hoped to hear, in some strange way.]

You have?

[He doesn't cry in his sleep, does he?... Surely he'd know?]

[fogboundcrow]

Sometimes.

[Is it really his place to divulge this? ...well, perhaps with Magpie, it's okay.]

I think he may be lonely. He surrounds himself with people and tries to keep busy, but that doesn't change the fact that up until today, he had very few people from his world. Just myself and that Maruki person, who has made himself scarce.

And I understand, but I think it's easier for me to cope because I haven't had the years of time he has to build connections and truly establish himself in his new life.

[pancakeboy]

[He feels a bit sour inside, but brushes it off; he doesn't want to understand.]

Yes. The downside of surrounding yourself with others, isn't it? [They all leave in the end, he does not say—though Raven must have thought it.

It's uncomfortable, to think of Crow crying. It makes him feel hollow.]

[fogboundcrow]

But I wasn't really happy alone either.

[He wilts, thinking about how much easier it is to admit it now.]

It's give and take, I suppose. But I think having another familiar face may help ground him. I certainly have moments where I feel aimless simply due to how different my experiences are.

[...]

But I'm less aimless with you.

[pancakeboy]

[... yeah, the bottom falls out of his stomach. And it falls a long, long way. He looks quickly away, towards the front door; the sourness inside him concentrates to a pool of bile. How is he even meant to take that?]

... do you know you come out with the strangest shit? [It almost sounds thin; he's being careful.]

You believe happiness is real?

[fogboundcrow]

I believe it's real, but difficult to obtain unless you're lucky and just as difficult to hold onto.

[He was happy with his mother, until she was gone. He's been happy with Kanji, with Nanako and Dojima... And he's found happiness here.

So it is real.]

[pancakeboy]

[Take it from your older and wiser self, Raven: like relationships and "bonds", happiness never lasts. And that makes it worse than useless. Very carefully, he thinks of Crow, and doesn't say it.

Instead, he holds out one hand, in its glove, like a mouse to a cat. Come here, kid—though not too close.]

[fogboundcrow]

[Oh. Huh. He's not sure what Magpie is doing, but he will move closer. Not too close, but closer!]

[pancakeboy]

[Very carefully, he reaches to take Raven's hand and squeeze it. He will then let go, since this is awkward for both of them.]

[fogboundcrow]

[...Oh. That was unexpected. He stares at his hand for a moment, head slightly ducked.]

Thank you.

[He may sound just a little sheepish. It's certainly not unwelcome, but Magpie isn't the most outwardly affectionate type.]

Are you all right?

[Best to be safe here.]

[pancakeboy]

[Baby steps, Raven. He doesn't sound bothered at all, though he doesn't quite look up.]

Of course. Why wouldn't I be? [Really. He's fine. He was threatening the plumbing just minutes ago.]

I suppose I haven't been told anything like that before. That I make someone feel less "aimless".

[fogboundcrow]

I feel safe with you.

[It's an easy enough admission, accompanied by a small shrug.]

And I like spending time with you. Is that really so surprising?

[Well... maybe it is. He's often questioned what others see in himself, after all.]

[pancakeboy]

[Well, he knows well enough what people see in him; they see what he wants them to see, and nothing more. Nothing real. Except, as he reminds himself almost every time they meet, that's not true of Raven, and it's not true of Crow. If he thinks on it too much, it threatens to drive him mad.]

Always with the forensic questions. At this point, I suppose I can't get away with saying it's surprising.

[It's just the idea of anyone feeling safe with him... it ties him in knots.]

[fogboundcrow]

...I just hope I didn't make things too uncomfortable.

[He's never quite sure with Magpie. He certainly doesn't want to overstep.]