Ren would get it, he thinks, randomly, disgusted with himself anew. I wouldn't have had to tell him shit. And if I did, he'd....

He'd what? Turn on his heel and walk away? Tell all his friends? Fight to the death, like Akechi dreamed of? "I can think of about ten different ways you could have asked me, Crow. You didn't have to put me on trial for something you'll never understand."

To be honest, he still dreams of that, sometimes. Just having it out, man to man. Throwing down his glove to cut Ren out of his mind for good. Being somebody for a moment.