Ugh. I don't know any stories. I can't believe you're.... [That's a lie. He has most of what he's ever read locked away in his head, if he just thinks on it.

With a deep breath, he calls one to mind, a foreign story he hasn't thought of for years, one he can think about without wanting to vomit. And he starts to recite, with a few modifications.]

"It was terribly cold. Snow was falling, and it was almost dark. In the cold and gloom, a poor little boy was walking through the streets...."